Author: Zander Maverick

My name is Zander. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was a young kid. I spent most of my life ashamed of this and hid it from everyone the best I could. Today, I am no longer ashamed and I want to be sure that others can get out from under the stigma of mental health issues. This is my little piece of the world.
depression

Pride

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Have you ever sat at home detailing everything that you need to tell the doctor about your illness to ensure that they have the perfect picture? Do you sometimes get there and ….

I can’t let my doctor know the entirety of where I am and how I am doing. It seems self deprecating. I am good. If my doctor doesn’t believe that, how can I?

So I tell my doctor stories that are almost truths. My doctor makes me almost better. Everyone wins. You don’t have a crazy son, brother, friend,  colleague. I get by.

Pride will be the downfall of human kind. Empathy is gone and intelligent discourse went the way of the dinosaurs. With that said, I’m past my 140 characters.

0
depression, Motivation

Cleanliness

Posted on by Zander Maverick

There are so many ways that Depression is a catch 22. One of the things that brings my mind out and helps to activate productive thinking is a clean space; however, my depression typically warps my brain to avoid cleaning. This is one of the reasons that I love to travel and stay in hotels. It isn’t always the destination that excites me, it’s the fully clean, almost immaculate nature of the rooms.

It took me awhile to realize that having a cluttered space can lead to having a cluttered mind. It took me even longer to realize that this is amplified with Depression. I think I need to have a Brownie adopt me and the apartment.

Again, this falls back to having the motivation and clarity to accomplish things. Those two factors can lead to great successes or stunning failures.

0
depression, Sleep

Sleep

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Sleep is a two-headed monster for me. If I don’t get enough sleep, I get irritable and my anxiety kicks up a notch; however, if I get too much sleep, my depression often tries to keep me under the blankets.

I typically aim for about 8 hours a night and hope for at least 7 hours. I recently purchased a new pillow that is fantastic and has been helping me to stay asleep through the night. I have been debating on taking melanin, but I just don’t like taking pills if I don’t have to (which is why it took 20+ years for me to finally get on antidepressants again)

We do have a sound machine (white noise) during the cooler months. When it is hot out, we have the window unit air conditioner. Those also help. I even have the fabulous eye mask to sleep with so Jason doesn’t wake me up with his phone light.

2
depression, Motivation

Motivation

Posted on by Zander Maverick

One of the many things that frustrates me about Depression is that it often zaps my motivation. There are days that I just cannot get out of bed. When I do, I struggle to get motivation to to do anything.

Sometimes when I tell people this, they tell me that I am just being lazy; that I just need to be a grown up and deal with being an adult. I wish I were being lazy. I wish I could snap out of it.

There are days that I get up and I feel like the world is my oyster. I get so much done and go places. I get out in the world and shop, pay bills, clean, and whatever I need to do. I love these days. I love these days.

What motivates you when you can’t get going? What keeps you from hiding under the comforter when you Depression is tackling your mind? Sometimes, I just need engagement. Find something that we have in common and push me to do it; but don’t get mad when I don’t do it most of the time.

Also, my beautiful husband is my biggest motivation. I want him to have a great life full of fun and worldly events.

0