Tag: Motivation

anxiety, depression

Focusing

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Why do I always get stuck focusing on the bad things people do? I get stuck on the rude person or the obnoxious person. Why can’t I see the good that people do? Focus on the person that picked up the item that another person dropped.

I know that a large part of my mental stress is because I tend to get stuck in a loop with the negativity around me. My mind would be a better place if I could train it to seek out and focus on the good in the world. That doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to the evils in this country. That doesn’t mean that I ignore what is wrong. But I really need to get to a point where the stories that are repeating in my head are the good stories. The positive things that people do.

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anxiety, depression, Motivation

Outdoors

Posted on by Zander Maverick

I love being outdoors. I love the peace of being outside of buildings and all the energy they have inside. The breeze can take away bad thoughts and bad vibes. The sun can heal your soul while energizing your mind. The birds in the distance provide a slight distraction for your brain to ensure you don’t get too focused on anything. The scent of spring nourishes the mind. 

Being outdoors is healthy and healing. I need to take advantage of the many parks that I have in my area. I can go for walks or just sit and zone. I could bring a picnic with me.

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depression, emotions, Motivation, Song Lyrics

Tennesse

Posted on by Zander Maverick

We all have a journey in front of us. We can take that journey or stay home. We have a choice but not always the tools needed to join the journey. I am thankful that I could go on my journey to California.

#lyrics

I’m up and jaws are on the floor
Lovers in the bathroom and a line outside the door
Blacklights and a mirrored disco ball
Every night’s another reason why I left it all

I thank my wicked dreams
A year from Tennessee
Oh, Santa Monica
You’ve been too good to me
Won’t make my mama proud
It’s gonna cause a scene
She sees her baby girl
I know she’s gonna scream

God, what have you done
You’re a pink pony girl
And you dance at the club
Oh mama, I’m just having fun
On the stage in my heels
It’s where I belong down at the
Pink Pony club

*via Pink Pony Club, Chappell Roan

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depression, emotions, Song Lyrics

Flowers

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Depression lies. That’s the truth.

I have a song stuck in my head. The song is Flowers by Miley Cyrus. I am not a huge fan of Miley Cyrus, but she puts out some hits that I love. This song is one of her best, and definitely one of her first “adult” hits. Her voice, her image… she has transformed like a butterfly. Hannah who?

People with depression go through periods where the don’t feel wanted or needed. They feel like they can’t love or be loved. This song shows us how to love ourselves again. The song shows us that we don’t need other people. We only need ourselves.

Flowers by Miley Cyrus:

I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can

Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
Can love me better
I can love me better, baby

Paint my nails, cherry red
Match the roses that you left
No remorse, no regret
I forgive every word you said

So buy yourself flowers and hold your own hand. Dance like the world isn’t watching and laugh at the ridiculous. You’ve got this. I have this.

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depression, Song Lyrics

#Nine

Posted on by Zander Maverick

It’s time for a flashback song.

I’ll kiss you!

The gypsy told me that the first thing
That would happen you get dizzy
Second thing you better make sure
That your boyfriend isn’t busy
Cause you won’t wanna eat
And you won’t wanna drink
You won’t wanna talk
And you won’t wanna think
My mother used to tell me not to
Kiss on this first date
This time when I see you, you
Know I ain’t gonna wait!
I’ll Kiss you
Gonna corner you and not let you go
I’ll Kiss you

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anxiety, depression, emotions, Sleep

Dreams

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Dreams are very strange things. Most nights I do not remember anything. Sometimes I will have a vague recollection that fades over the first couple of morning hours. Lately, though, I have been having very vivid dreams two to three times a week that feel like memories. In some, I vividly remember sensations like flying or running or screaming. Almost like my body is remembering it. In others, the dream is a full on memory lodged in my head.

There are days that I think I would willing go into the Matrix if it meant I could control the dream and the reality. Like having sex with Jensen Ackles or Chris Evans on the monthly. Being able to travel the world and experience new things without my anxiety tripping me up. Having normal mental energy and extra spoons (see the spoon theory).

Outside of the Matrix scenario, I do feel like sleeping more. It’s harder to make myself get out of bed in the morning. I have started sleeping past 10am again. I have slept through my alarm a couple of times. I don’t know if it’s my depression creeping up on my rearview or if my mind just likes the dream world better. Because let me tell you, some of those vivid dreams that are locked in like memories are spicier than Chris Evans doing a screen record live on Instagram.

And with that, let’s get some music going.

“Sweet dreams are made of these…”

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emotions, Motivation

Fantastical

Posted on by Zander Maverick

One of the most amazing things about my husband is that he gets caught up and rides the wave of my fantastical thoughts and dreams. I don’t think he believes them any more than I do, but he doesn’t question them. I talk about my newest fantastical dream and he goes along. Like, it could happen.

I talk about moving to a small town to be in the Gilmore Girls world. I talk about moving to Spain to be among the beautiful men. I talk about buying property in Oakland. I talk about so many things. And the love of my life… he just goes along with it. We both know these won’t happen, but he never bursts my bubble. He encourages this.

My newest and most fabulous one? I am going to buy a house in Guerneville while finding a fully 100% telecommuting position. I can be there five to six days a week. We can swap between our apartment and there. I can walk down main street holding his hand without fear. I can be. I can live. So much life with so little outside interference.

I love me more and more as the days go on. My dreams get bigger and better. But one day, these won’t be dreams anymore. They will be. We will be.

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anxiety, depression, Motivation

Healthy

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Sometimes I hate people that don’t suffer from depression or anxiety. These illnesses cause so many issues, but those issues are invisible.

Do you actually think that I want to lay around all day? Well, I don’t. I want to get up and do the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning. I want to get up and make my home look beautiful. But that’s not in the cards for me.

I want to build my bath and body products. Even if I only give them as gifts. I want to go out for walks or go bicycling. Most days, though, that’s not in the cards.

So that makes me lazy, uninvolved, or sloppy. I get it. Sorry for the rant but my brain has been yelling at me about this for a bit and I need to get it out.

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depression, Motivation

Crutches

Posted on by Zander Maverick

We all need crutches from time to time, but it seems like people that need crutches because of depression get stigmatized more.

Sometimes it’s the little things that are the most difficult for me. It’s the every day decisions. For example, when you think about making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you probably think about getting the bread, jelly, peanut butter, and a knife to whip it together.

For me, making that same sandwich means walking into the kitchen. Open the fridge and grab the jelly. Walk to the cabinet, open the door and grab the peanut butter. Walk to the other cabinet, open it and grab bread. Walk to the drawer, pull it open and grab a butter knife. Walk to yet another freaking cabinet, open the door and grab a plate. Set everything down on the counter.

Do you see where I’m going with this? I hope so because those instructions are overwhelming me and I’m just typing them.

When a person without depression looks at tasks, they take a lot of steps for granted, which makes it look simple. As a person that has major depressive disorder, my brain creates at least five times the number of steps. If you throw in decisions like which type of jelly… I’m done.

Do you walk up to a person with a cane in the parking lot to tell them that it’s so easy to walk from the car to store without a cane? I hope you don’t. So when you know someone suffers from Depression, try to avoid phrases like “but it’s so easy if you just” or “you don’t need all of that. Just…”

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