We often think that our close friends and our family are automatically out support group. We assume that when push comes to shove, when the cards are down, they will be there for us.
Let me stop here. You have been duped.
People love you for what you can do for them. They don’t need you. They don’t want to deal with you when it becomes difficult.
I live with major depressive disorder. I don’t have a choice. It is there. People in my support circle are great at supporting me, until my illness is inconvenient for them. At that point, I become a burden. An unnecessary burden.
I am not going to tip toe around people anymore. I am here. This is me. If I am too much, walk away. Don’t fuck with my time and limited mental energy.
I am exhausted and I don’t think I have a support group anymore. Am I needy for wanting people to understand what my brain and body are going through?
Supportless in Oakland.
Confessions from Depression 
I suspect you still haven’t found the right people. Steinbeck said (or had one of his characters say) that you should always turn to the poor and downtrodden when you need help. They understand and will always provide what they can. I’m not saying that you should seek homeless people as friends (tho why not?) but I have had some respect and understanding from others with MDD and bipolar. Not all of them, sure, but some.
I’m sorry you feel you have to go it alone, but maybe you’ll find sufficient strength that way.
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