anxiety, emotions


When I get news about my health, I keep it to myself. When I am having tests run, I keep it to myself. I have so many actual, definitive health issues that I don’t want to burden people with the idea of another health issue or the stress of waiting for a test.

I suffer from MDD. On my best days I can laugh while being out and social. I’m still sore and tired. I’m still frustrated and my brain is going haywire, but I’m social and visible.

When I get a cold, my brain tells me I’m dying of ebola or some crazy thing. I mostly keep those brain weasels in check, but I do that by not acknowledging what they say. That means I can’t discuss what tests we are running or what I may have developed. Until there is a confirmation, it stays locked up in my head or comes out disguised as something else.

For the record, my last two health scares have come back negative so I feel validated by this thought process.

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