Tag: appearance

depression, emotions

Teeth

Posted on by Zander Maverick

I am generally not a vain person. I do not put much stock into what I wear or how my hair looks most of the time. And yet, my teeth have been a defining feature for my entire life.

Growing up, my teeth were bad. They were twisted and turned. They were wild. And because of that, I rarely smiled or laughed without covering my mouth.

Around ten years ago, I used the Invisalign service and straightened my teeth. It was like a new lease on life. I laughed so loud. I smiled so brightly. My mood changed and people noticed.

I am not just here for a history lesson. I am about to go through my terror of bath teeth again. For some ungodly reason, my body is eating one of my teeth. It seems to happen from time to time, like when mammals eat their newborn. And that tooth has to be removed.

So what, you say? Well, I can’t do anything after that tooth is removed for months. Months and months and months. For nearly six months I will have a tooth missing and I will be back in high school being made fun of and tortured. For nearly six months I will be ashamed to smile. I will be less likely to laugh.

I am not ready to go through this journey again.

0
Uncategorized

Fine

Posted on by Zander Maverick

I’m fine. Don’t worry.

Everything is great. No need to worry.

I’m okay. Just tired.

If you suffer from Depression, you know these phrases well. You are constantly reassuring the people around you that everything is fine. Why do we do it? Because there isn’t anything they can do to help, so why make them feel bad.

Most of the time, you will not be able to see when something is wrong. That is from a lifetime of experience and practice. If you think you see something off, chances are things are worse than usual. If you see clear signs that something is wrong, you probably want to intervene. I don’t have many strong signs, but when my hands cover my ears, it means the voices are deafening. My head is so loud that I can’t think. In order to push past my depression, I have to be sharp.

That’s the catch-22. If I’ve gotten to that point, I can’t fix it. I have to wait it out. I need people to understand that I can’t make decisions or have meaningful conversations. I can’t be witty and pretty. I just can’t.

Luckily for me, those extreme episodes are rare or short-lived.

When people suffer from Depression, they get a bit cutoff from their support because it’s really hard to understand what we are going through. Sometimes simple tasks like making a decision or just too damn hard.

0
depression

Looks

Posted on by Zander Maverick

I won’t post a lot of memes, but this one was too good not to post. It’s sad how often we hear people say that the person didn’t look depressed. Suicidal people don’t have to look down or sad.

If someone tells you that they suffer from depression, don’t use their outward appearance as a gauge on how they are doing. We have had a lifetime to practice looking like nothing is wrong and that the world is rosy. Our laughter is often louder and more frequent. Talk to your friends.

0