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Gimmicks

When my depression is running high, I am far more vulnerable to gimmicks and such. I get to the point of questioning my worth so I buy a cure-all, go on a spending spree, or, like today, I spend a ton making my outside more beautiful to hide the inside from the world.

I know this is going to pass. I know this is temporary. I know I have friends and family that value me. I know all of these things and more, but my depression counteracts each of these with devious simplicity.

I’m one of the lucky ones though. I have a network of amazing people that I can rely on. If I need a compliment or help of any kind, there is always someone I can call. I typically don’t, but it’s a huge weight off my shoulders to know that I can.

Today, a vendor at a shop was extremely nice to me. He gave me a free mini-facial. He pointed out the beautiful lines and features in my face. And then he talked about how to make my appearance even better. He was good, and I barely saw it coming.

Hopefully these products will help. In the gay community, it’s easier to get compliments if you looks pretty or you have a buffet body.

Let’s see where these beauty products take me. Maybe it’s worth it. It’s definitely not Maybelline.

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