depression

Weight

After 3 years, I am finally at a place where my mental health seems steady. My emotions are mostly under control. This has been the best I have been mentally in over 20 years. I’m (how do you say this?) happy. In fact, I’m very happy. I left a job that was draining me and found a job where people appreciate my talents and input.

The downside? I have gained a lot of weight. I can see a significant difference in my appearance. I spent the first 30 years of my life on the edge of being under-weight. After I (briefly) quit drinking at 30, I gained over 10 pounds. When I quite smoking, I gained more. But with those, the weight gains weren’t overly visible. The weight I have gained since the new meds is very visible.

I don’t want this to come across as a judgement on weight. This is more about my self-esteem and the fact that I can’t climb a flight of stairs without being out of breath. Once I fixed my teeth, I was a hot commodity. It went to my head. Once I started on the meds, my self-esteem went up and I was a hotter commodity. Now, I’m happier than I have ever been, but my self-esteem is close to my lowest.

For now, I’m not going to change anything. My overall happiness and mental stability is far more important. But I wonder if my weight will become an issue later on and lead to me changing meds once again.

Uncategorized

Choices

I may have a serious choice to make soon. It seems that there is a direct link between people that struggle to find an anti-depressant that works well and high levels of inflammation.

I fall under this category. I have been on more than 6 different anti-depressants in the last two years. They help, but not enough. I’ve also been suffering from joint pain that I was afraid was arthritis (which is why I didn’t say anything for so long). After 6 doctors, including 2 Podiatrists, I have starting to get a clearer picture.

My third Party made a stunning discovery within minutes of our first visit. She noticed signs of vitamin D deficiency in my X-rays. These are X-rays that many other doctors looked at. So we started there. We got the tendons in my feet to stop hurting, but I still have a lot of pain.

My second session with her lead to discussions of pain in places other than my feet. That lead to me being on anti-depressants. That lead to an aha moment. I can’t take antiinflammatories because of my anti-depressants.

So the choice that I seem to have in front of me right now is: do I ween off of my anti-depressants so I can take care of the inflammation that is terrorizing my body? Or do I stay on the safe path and try natural remedies for my inflammation?

I have a follow up with my PCP on Monday. Let’s see what he has to say.

For the record though, this latest Podiatrist is a godsend. If you live in the Bay Area and need a Podiatrist, DM me.