Tag: confessions

depression, Song Lyrics

Unknown

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Do you ever get this instinct that something is wrong with your body or your mind but you can neither figure out exactly what it is not can you explain it? That’s where I have been lately.

Of course, as one does, I googled my symptoms and found out I have over a dozen types of cancers, a few tumors, some rare disorder, and four minutes to live. (I am not making light of any of these)

I have been trying to figure out how to approach my doctor. I read through some information on the Mayo Clinics site and I have an idea, but it’s not likely that it started recently. It is more likely that I have been confusing symptoms with my anxiety symptoms. If I ask now, I think he’ll wave me off and toss these under the MDD umbrella.

And now for the song in my head…

There’s something wrong with my mind today. I don’t know what it is. There’s something wrong with mind….. Living on the meds! 😂

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depression

Wrong

Posted on by Zander Maverick

Do you ever open up to someone and get rejected? It’s more than hard. It can terrorize you for years. Being seen as wrong is hard. You have to learn to get past that. Not everyone can understand you and your worth.

My brain doesn’t work like other people. That applies to daytime and the night. It takes a lot for me to open up. Very few people get this privilege. Most of them aren’t here.

Anxiety and depression control so many more things than my mood or happiness. My ideas of right and wrong,; my ideas of happy and sad; my ideas of sex and love; it’s all controlled. I’m different. I’m wrong.

The gay community is so very “diverse” and “open”. Anything goes. Well, as long as you fit the role. Tops are hung and bottoms are whores. That’s the story. That’s the role. Don’t try to add dimension to those roles. Don’t try to think. You’ll be wrong.

I’m wrong. I am very wrong. And it tears my heart and soul into pieces every time someone tells me.

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